Baltimore City Worker Watches 39 Hours Of Porn In 10 Days, Gets Fired

If you ever feel like you’re not accomplishing much at work between repeated viewings of Designing Women clips on YouTube, you’ll be delighted to hear that a man in Baltimore spent 39 hours just watching porn on the job during a two-week period last year. That’s 50 percent of his shift devoted to porn. You’re doing… » 5/05/15 7:00pm Yesterday 7:00pm

Watch Kristen Schaal Recreate Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn' Shot for Shot

Remember how much you loved the Natalie Imbruglia song “Torn” when it was on TV all the time (even though it wasn’t her best work)? Relive your middle school years again with this shot-for-shot remake of the song, starring Kristen Schaal, Kurt Braunohler and featuring music by Mikal Cronin. » 5/05/15 4:00pm Yesterday 4:00pm

Grace Coddington and Her Pajamas Are the Met Gala's True Winners

While everyone and their mothers were going off about Beyoncé and Rihanna last night, the true winner of the Met Gala slipped under the radar in a pair of blue silk pajamas that were both attractive and functional, allowing her to walk, unencumbered, through the crowds of people with miles of cloth around their waists. » 5/05/15 4:00pm Yesterday 4:00pm

The Hip Hop Granny From The Wedding Singer Has Died At 101

Ellen Albertini Dow, the only reason to watch The Wedding Singer more than 10 times a year has laid down her last sick rhyme. The actress, who appeared on every show you’ve ever seen —including The Golden Girls, Hannah Montana, and Scrubs — died yesterday at age 101. She leaves behind not only the best performance in… » 5/05/15 3:40pm Yesterday 3:40pm

American Hero Nonchalantly Adjusts Boobs Before Baseball Game Selfie

Before this video, I thought there were only two reasons to go to a baseball game: One, to eat as many garlic fries as possible before vomiting and 2, arguing with the people in front of you about something of no actual consequence. Now I know there are three reasons to go. The third reason? Glorious, shameless,… » 5/04/15 11:20pm Monday 11:20pm

Get Spanked in a Unicorn Mask: A Chat With BDSM's Friendliest Couple

The scene in front of me is strange: A young woman, wearing a unicorn mask, is lying across the knees of a bearded man in glasses. He is spanking her. She counts out each blow out loud, pausing only to add “Lord Vader” at the end of the number. “Five, Lord Vader,” she says, her voice muffled by the mask, then “Six,… » 5/04/15 1:45pm Monday 1:45pm

Maybe Beards Aren't Full of Poop Bacteria After All

Last week, the internet erupted with the news that beards, those beautiful things that hide men’s weak chins and childhood acne scars, are chock-full of something more than manliness—and that something is poop. For anyone either excited or horrified by this news (my immediate reaction was to go drag my bearded face… » 5/04/15 1:00pm Monday 1:00pm

'Naked From Head to Toe' Couple Arrested Having Sex in Library Bathroom

You guys, they were completely nude. Not even sneakers (which many good porn actors will tell you is a practical footwear choice for sex)! Who does that? Apparently, two people in Wisconsin, who were so excited to see each other “after a few days” that they couldn’t find anywhere else to bang it out except the library… » 5/01/15 8:20pm Friday 8:20pm

Christie Ally, Not Kirstie Alley, to Plead Guilty in Bridgegate Scandal

This morning I was excited to find that the star of Veronica’s Closet, Kirstie Alley, was back in the news. “Well, at least people are thinking of her,” I thought, as I read my feed, bleary-eyed before my first can of diet coke. I had no idea why Alley was pleading guilty in something called “Bridgegate,” but I was… » 5/01/15 1:20pm Friday 1:20pm

Tangerine Is the Trans Revenge Film You've Wished For All Your Life

Rarely does a movie come along that makes you jump out of your seat screaming “I want to see that.” And even more rarely is that film about two trans women portrayed in a funny but realistic way without falling into gross tropes or misogyny. Even rarer? The fact that you’re about to get excited about a film shot… » 5/01/15 10:45am Friday 10:45am

Crisis Pregnancy Center Papers School With Sexist-As-Hell Prom Poster

Last week, a Reddit user pointed out that curious prom posters—approved by the principal—had begun appearing on her high school’s walls. The posters, which featured a woman made out of words suggesting good qualities, reminded young men that prom was “a night to protect her character.” » 4/30/15 7:50pm Thursday 7:50pm

Russian Pol Very Sure Latest U2 Album Is Dangerous Gay Propaganda 

Remember when Apple just forced that new U2 album on everyone and we were outraged because a) no one likes U2 anymore unless it’s an instrumental version of “With or Without You” and b) putting music we don’t want on our phones is basically a sign that Big Brother is watching? Well, a Russian politician thinks it’s… » 4/30/15 3:50pm Thursday 3:50pm

The Worst Wedding Gifts, Ranked

Weddings are about two things: Having hella fun with your friends and then charging them for the privilege of attending. But because every gift you receive is a mandatory thank you note to write, even the best gifts can be pain. So what happens when you get an awful gift? Like a handmade puppet or a fertility idol? Do… » 4/30/15 2:00pm Thursday 2:00pm

Here's a Cat Just Fucking Sliding Down a Bannister Like a Boss

A friendly reminder: never mess with cats: They will come after you, and if you embarrass them they will never ever forgive you. So whoever taped this video of a cat accidentally sliding down a bannister like a cool kid in an ‘80s movie is in a whole heap of trouble, and should probably watch his back at night. » 4/29/15 7:30pm 4/29/15 7:30pm

Actively Anti-Gay Legislator Also an Active Grindr User

Congratulations to North Dakota State Representative Randy Boehning! The formerly closeted lawmaker is now out and proud thanks to the fact that no gay dudes are going to cover for an assclown who signs anti-marriage bills and then goes trolling for young sex on the internet. It’s much better out here, Randy! The air… » 4/29/15 12:00pm 4/29/15 12:00pm

Yes, That's Totally Hilary Duff You're Flirting With On Tinder

On Sunday, news broke that Hilary Duff, star of Lizzie McGuire and the only celebrity I’ve almost gotten into a fist fight over, miiiiiight have a Tinder profile and may be open to getting pizza with dudes who aren’t Aaron Carter. This morning, The Duffster announced that, yes, that’s absolutely her you could be… » 4/28/15 6:30pm 4/28/15 6:30pm